In Space, No One Cares About Your Disappointment

I awake in the middle of the night to find that I'm aboard some sort of flying saucer. It is empty save for a few scruffy, quite miserable looking aliens. They look human enough, but they are very small and stocky, and they have eyes that were clearly made for looking through rather than at.

I tell them I want to see the captain.
"We don't have a captain!" Says one of them with a rumbling, despairing sort of tone.
"Well I want to see who ever's in charge!" I say.
"We don't have one of those either." Replies another of them in an equally crackling, moody tone.
I point to a particularly small, crumpled looking person sitting on a sort of bench; "Well who's he then?"
"That's Steve." They say, as if it's obvious.
"And what does he do?"
"He's just here for the ride."
"What about you?" I ask another.
"I'm visiting friends." She says.
"I'm on my way home." Says another.
"And I'm just here to make sure you don't do anything stupid."
"And what sort of qualifications make you capable of doing that?" I ask.
"I don't need qualifications, do you think I want to spend my time keeping my eye on you?"
"You people are insane!" I tell them.
"You're the one who thinks he's onboard a space ship!"
"Yeah!"

Rollo Kim