HeRe Be tHe NeWs

The Situationist Internationale made a brief sojourn to the English south coast yesterday, after they were informed that Cornwall County Council were planning to erect a statue of Cliff Richard. Several members of the British national press were also present, after the SI themselves leaked the rumour that they would be in attendance to remove the statue, and drag it out to sea utilizing the variety of military vehicles they had hired, for the occasion.

The Sun's Freddie Starr was also on hand pretending to be Richard Atenburough. It was actually Starr who captured the future-infamy of the images of a spritely looking Michelle Bernstein dragging several members of the council into the ocean before proceeding to throw herself in too.

Bernstein [23] and SI mainman Guy Debord [32] were escorted from the scene by former Sex Pistol John Lydon, who is hotly tipped to play the new Doctor Who.

Rollo Kim, live from his sleep.