Vinnie Web: Keeping you from falling on your keys

The world travels at 67,000 miles per hour and the World Wide Web moves with it. If your business stands still for just a moment, you'll get Cancer and you'll die.

Your lover will leave you, your car will be stolen, and your bank accounts emptied - we can and will do this, because it's our job to ensure that we sell you a web-site, whether you need one or not.

We've sold web space to our own Grandmothers, on their deathbeds. We've sold web space to dentists, psychic healers, the mentally impaired, Big Issue Salesmen, shoeshine boys, independent taxi drivers and whores.

The world is changing. It is vital that you have access to the latest communications tools, because if you don't, you'll feel left out. Because although technology is about enriching our lives, it's also about excluding those of you who can't afford it.

If you don't have a web site, you may as well proclaim to the rest of the world that you are an impotent, homeless alcoholic who has nightmares about sleeping with his / her mum, wets the bed and will die, virginal and alone.

Look, the fact is, if you won't let us sell you web space we are going to come round and break both of your knee caps, one at a time, with a tea break inbetween. And if you have children, we'll also make sure that they are around to see you suffer. They won't be getting over that one too quickly. In fact, they'll never look at you in the same light again. Don't destroy your children's Heros.

At Vinnie Web, we prey on the weak and the unfortunate because it's easy, and it gives us pleasure.

With Vinnie Web, you'll be safe in the knowledge that your Home-page is accessible 24-7, to millions of consumers and business's alike, and that you still have your own business, your private life, your home, your ability to be seen as attractive in the eyes of other people, and your ability to enjoy sexual intercourse.

So let's not fuck about. We want to sell you web space, and you wouldn't want to upset people with your physical appearnace. We enjoy our work, and so should you.

LONDON, PARIS, NEW YORK, WALSALL, BRIXTON, CHEADLE HULME

 Call us - before we call you.


Honest Dave [of Honest Dave's Used URL's]