I'm in love with a German film star

It's 3:54 am. I am drinking a glass of wine. I have just eaten a tuna sandwich. I am listening to Jon Hassell. I'm perfectly happy but I'm also well aware that this is not normal behaviour.

"Your voice is an island of sweetness in a sea of toothpaste."

Rollo

STYLE OVER FASCISM

Mellisa has her knees securely fastened together with duct tape... her hair has been cut using nail scissors for that imprecise, emotionally unstable urchin look; her vest is made entirely out of waterproof plasters, and her shades are the faces of dolls...

[applause]

"Long Pig Surprise, a dish from my childhood," says the naked chef, "and very, very special."

My full stops are all back-to-front: I'm taking a bath at midnight, getting changed, having breakfast at around 1.30 am. Taking an hours nap at around 5 o'clock [in the real world, this is about the time I'm falling asleep on the bus home from work.] I need to start looking for a place to live.

"When I first moved to your country," the chef continues, "the only things I knew how to cook were toasted bagels and Long Pig Surprise..."

Rollo

FREEDOM OR SLAVERY: THE REAL CHOICE OF A GENERATION

Coming soon: from the crazy cats that bought you Crackerdog Productions and Scholtz Vitrine Records: the Lazy Girl ™ food range: for the Lazy Girl ™ in us all.

"It was a matter of trying to make the mouthpiece sound like a voice merged with a conch shell." Jon Hassell.

"My heroin use have made me too fascinating or perhaps too beautiful to work alongside people who have opted not to be smackheads." The Junkies.

Rollo

Have Joy.

The eternal ring of burnt toast and tea on the air. She spent the last two christmas's in remand for assaulting a neighbour, trashing a car, attempted arson [she burnt a house on Pork Hill down to the bones] and shop lifting [she ransacked a local Spar and beat up two security guards. It took three blokes to hold her down until the bizzies arrived.

She's writing a book. Well. Her step mum is writing it for her. She doesn't know how to write. That's not fair. But you get the idea. In those cheap World of The Strange books that you get in those discount bookstores, they call it channeling. Or something. You've seen them - they always have exactly the same few images of fake flying saucers and ape men. Men in Black, 'aliens that did stuff to me'. Crop circles. It's all so vague and vacuous but I'm drawn to it and always have been. I'm sure she would have laughed at that stuff though. I'm sure she had no idea. I guess her Mother figures she can make something out of it. Cash or cheque. It's an act. I'm sure. But I want to know. And I want to know her.

Her mum's the type who's dress sense never grew up. You get me. She's dressing for two these days though, and I don't mean she's preggers. But she still packs it all into the same old little black numbers, the leopard skin accessories, the mini skirts and gold heels, her obscene clevage spilling out from all corners. Tattooed arms. Palid and pendulant flesh.

Rollo

"We have this kind of pre-pubescent, soap-opera-gay relationship."

"Drowning in distractions. All of the things we don't need and none of the things we do. Why do we do that?!"
"Because we're all afraid of the truth... like when you laugh at someone because they're older or younger than you... or fatter or thinner than you... or smarter than you... you're afraid because they could quite easily be you... "

"Everything counts. Everything and everyone... it's all equal. It's all the same."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Yeah, I'm stating the obvious but every little helps." Oh, and I've discovered the Tao Te Ching.

Rollo

Dramarama

Please note that the content of todays 'dramarama' article may offend.

Rollo

Free Gilbert

"Despite Diego's affairs with other women (one was with Frida's sister), he helped in many ways. He suggested to Frida that she should begin wearing the traditional Mexican clothing, which consisted of long, colorful dresses and exotic jewelry. This, along with Frida's thick, connecting eyebrows, became her trademark."

Frida Kahlo

Rollo