"I am looking for a powerfull [sic] portable hand pumped water cannon?"


My Rollo Kim Christ Mouse Special has mysteriously appeared on my desktop this morning. I was looking for that!

Rollo

We: language of our Time

More trouser-based Zen-like excitements from Rob Sleaze: "I have a hole in my trouser pocket. You have no idea how much this disturbs me."

"Let's stop squabbling over style, fashion, hipness and cool. Let's stop being afraid of each other. Too many of us are ridiculed and interrogated over trivia by our friends, so we choose to be part of a clique for security. Let's start finding security by just saying we don't want to fit in. We challenge authority. We challenge rules, politics, society."

One of the finest sites I've seen: Psychic TV, London, 23 December 82.

Rollo

The Holographic Dog

One of the finest sites I've seen: abandoned places.

My room is really two rooms with an interconnecting door. This means that I have two front doors. I've thought about nailing both of them closed...

The little girl from across the hall who does my shopping is explaining to her younger brother about the new system of pullies that she has installed at the foot of the stairs. She says that it will enable them to hang even bigger dogs than the previous system. They don't seem to have any visible form of parent.

Rollo

Mmm... the oddly sweet numb-pain caused by a lack of sleep. The naps. The up-all night scribbling... Had a wander around in the outside world today. Bought the entire works of Oscar Wilde for £1 in a discount bookstore. And William Burrough's Last Words for £2 in hardback. Also £1.50 on a gluten free baguette for me tea, reduced from £2 because it had snapped in half.

See, that's what happens when I try to tell you about me . You don't need to know this crap do you? You want little snippets of vague-potent spookiness, right?

Rollo

No... what? Oh... well... it's the middle of the night again [did I spell night correctly?] and I've just had breakfast. Mrblrr... I'd like to offer you a link now, to your bed. Because that's where you should be - and I don't care if it is the middle of the week. Anywho, erm... hang on... oh yeah, no... it's gone.

No, it's back... erm, I used to live in a house near the Alex in Crewe. One of the people I shared the place with would sleep for maybe fourteen hours a day. Well, you could always tell when he was about to wake up, because the smell would waft from under the door. I guess he'd turned over or sat up or whatever - and his special yeasty-biscuit aromastink would come sifting out like a kind of nasal alarm clock. In lectures you would sometimes have to move away from him it was so potent. Stinky man. Said he used to be Buddha.

Exactly.

Rollo

"I have reached that special age now where I seem to have hair growing out of my ears, and between my teeth... "It's 3:38 am in my house. Oh blrb. My belly doesn't like it. No sir...

Rollo

25 and I still fucking love you...

"If we turn this into a war, only the innocent will suffer." A truelly excellent article on the current state of affairs from Grant Morrison.

A girl called SoaPy TiT WanK. [cheered me up anyway! And I don't go in for that kind of fun stuff]. If that don't D-serve a link I don't know what does. You dirty!

[I'm just expressing mE current frame of mind, Me nO try to fuck you over. We all the same, yOu and mE and eVree1. Why you no trust me? Why you think me less? Me only want to kNoW JoY .... why U sO angreee?]

We never spoke. But then maybe words are not the ultimate... "When you read the word 'Tree', you do not see the word for Tree, [yeah, a fucking capital T, why not?!] you see a tree...' We're so obsessed with words - but they are fundamentally flawed. You can't communicate with mere words. The more you use, the less succesfully you communicate your intentions. Words are easily misdirected, misinterpreted, misaligned, missed, miss-spelllldd, misplaced... ignored, erased, burned, ridiculed, read aloud in the wrong tone of voice, resented. What's the longest surviving form of human communication? Pictograms and cave paintings. The oldest governing body? The Masonic form - and it's based on performance, visual display and symbolism... mathematics is universal, words am not. Even visual art and music outlive words... And mE aM aspiring writer, who refuse to spell correct... and all that...

"Before the British Broadcasting Corporation in London would allow Whitley to appear on any of its programs, it insisted that he pass a polygraph arranged by them. Again, he was found to be telling the truth about his encounter... Even fifteen years after his first encounter, he remains stressed. "

"Fall in love with everyone..." The Sufi, Whitley Strieber, Dr Ability, Michael, and Paul Weller?

The smug smirkage of my DaD, the tears and concern of MuM, the stubbornness and ignorance of my Gran, the politics of a militant Gandy [according to tests!], the physical appearance of a drug addled John Hegley, the mental instability of my extended family, the combined dress sense of everyone I ever, ever met, a sexuall preference for angry, intelligent, brattish, pouting, boyish girls, a musical preference for free-jazz drums and minimalism, a preference for total, beautiful honesty. The singing ability of Billy Bragg, after a car crash, the writing ability of a well-meaning six year old Goth, who's been force-fed a hand full of sleeping pills by a smiling neighbour claiming they are 'special sweetieeeeeeeeesssssss'.

"Twenty five and I still fucking love you!" A. Crackerdog

Rollo

It made me smile and it made me cry. I have not looked at the world in the same way since reading It . It's about everything: It's about being human. It's about perception, life, death, suffering, joy, and pain. It's on sale at a reduced price - it's a comforting, dynamic, inspiring read, especially at a time like this. This has to be one of the best books I've read: a much needed Zen slap. A head splitter. It's called The Key and I've been unable to put it down for longer than a couple of days since I bought a copy over four months ago.

"He makes things so incredibly clear, and some of his ideas, because they are so new, are somehow, at this time, deeply comforting. It is wonderful to see, in this dark hour, that we have a path ahead of us, that there are higher levels of spirit and self still available to us. He makes all this so very clear. "

Finally getting some music up again: crimewave by MeMePleX PriMe. I'm working on a music index page at the mo - thinking about doing mostly realaudio as I think the crap quality could create a nice 'shortwave radio' vibe. Hopefully going to do Radio Scholtz Vitrine so we can have 30 minute streaming chunks. As soon as we get the music sorted out.

Rollo

Yesterday [Monday] I posted a little text fragment about a certain disaster movie on my Barbelith column . If anybody read it - can I just apologize.

Normally the news doesn't effect me emotionally. And yet I can cry at the cinema. I spent the day being sick and feeling awful, but I don't think it's entirely because of the news.

"We pray, that there may be peace."

BIN LADEN THOUGHT TO BE RESPONSIBLE

"What I found was that, in this particular future, Washington, D.C., is in ruins." Whitley Strieber , The Secret School, 1997.

Rollo

When they asked him what he wanted to do when he grew up, he said he wanted to disappear, just like his Father.

At first, they said he was in trouble because he wore a watch but couldn't tell the time. Then they said that it was because he refused to eat his school lunch [they had confiscated his 'special lunch', claiming it 'excluded the other children']. He didn't understand the special smiles that they exchanged with one another, how could he?

They snicker, exchange whispers, spiteful laughter. Like children. He sits and waits, dreams of the outside world turned grey and cold. Even green is grey.

"Is this a drug thing? "

"I think of it more as a disease thing. Imagine it's Sunday, 3 or 4am. You've got a mild disease, and you're slightly curdled. Maybe influenza. It's a flu groove."  Chris Morris.

Rollo